Slip N' Slide

I adore the mornings when you utilize the underside of my stiffening resolve as your own personal slip and slide. When ready you run yourself up that flag pole and I salute you with caresses until you descend upon my glazed hairy matted cradle.

TMI Tuesday: September 11, 2018

14m ago

• bed
• blog
• dating
• erotic
• fantasy

Deja vu TMI Tuesday as these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014.

Fill in the blank

1. When I can’t sleep I take you in my mind .

2. My dream bedroom would be full of your scent .

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be in your arms .

4. I need to hold you at night.

5. Life of never having you would truly be a nightmare.

6. Night time is the right time to lick you senseless.

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.

I dreamed I was sitting along side some railroad tracks. There was a bunch of us hobos doing hobo things that hobos do while siting alongside railroad tracks. One of the hobos was there with his pet tiger. A train full of cattle started passing by. These cattle were obviously going to slaughter, stuffed in the railroad cars, yet still in the open air cages. Some of the cars had carcasses already in various stages of being butchered. But the train slowed and then came to a stop right next to the tiger and us. The tiger took notice and started nipping at the cow nearest the cage bars. The cow and tiger began to get agitated. One of the train crew came along carrying what appeared to be ribs from a slaughtered cow and proceeded to open up the train car in spite of us hobos yelling not to do that seeing as how there was a tiger in the neighborhood. Well of course the tiger follows the crew member onto the train car full of cattle. Fortunately the train man got out safely but there was no stopping the tiger which began to eviscerate in very graphic detail every single cow in the car. The tiger was gleefully disemboweling a calf when I mercifully woke up.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: July 24, 2018

12h ago

• blog
• dating
• erotic
• family
• fantasy

How are you doing? Check yourself by playing this TMI Tuesday.

Free yourself. . .

1. What do you need to learn but won’t admit to?

How to zig when I should be zaging

2. If you could erase one event from your life, which one would you choose? Briefly describe the event, tell us why you would erase it.

The moment a 1961 Checker cab and I tried to simultaneously occupy the same space. I would erase it because it hurt. A lot.

3. Who drains your energy, and why do you let it happen?

JennyFoo. Because she is the sweetest person in the world I know while being the person most hell bent on self destruction I have ever met.

4. Do your practice ‘self-love’ or ‘self-loathing’?

 A pinch of each because there is only so much time in each moment.

5. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’?

Breathe.

Bonus:  Who do you blame?

Ronald Reagan. 

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tender Tabernacle

When I am inside you I adore running my fingers through the satiny pages of your flowing folds. Running my fingers along the event horizon where my shaft sleekly splits you wide and melds into making us as one. How your body pulses and vibrates when my finger tip presses my moment where your taint starts and my full immersion leads. As my finger trace back around gathering a glistening sheen unable stop until I have encircled my girth. Perfect placement for my thumb to find the very pinnacle of your tender tabernacle. There to give service and pay homage to that nubbin with an ever gentle rubbing. Your blue eyes become bluer. Your blond hair becomes blonder. Golden strands fall before your face and you sigh, then gasp the sweet sigh of release.

TMI Tuesday: July 10, 2018

← TMI Tuesday: July 3, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 10, 2018

Posted on July 9, 2018by TMI Tuesday blog

Guess what time it is? TMI Tuesday!

Here’s looking at you. . .

1. What is the most marvelous thing you have ever seen?

I lost count when I turned seventeen. But the look on a woman's face when she comes is always a marvel.

2. Are you a starter or a finisher?

I am a finisher, but very judicious about what I start.

3. When did your heart last ‘skip a beat’? Why?

Last time she came all around me, because it was marvelous.

4. What does your perfect day look like?

I'm looking at it right now. Because it is next, and a good day today is better than what might be a perfect day tomorrow.

5. What would you call your autobiography?

He Consumed. He Eliminated. He Reproduced. He Stacked Things On Top Of Other Things. (and he was very happy to have come)

Bonus:  How does it feel to be photographed?

I hate having my soul stolen, so put the cell phone down and walk away.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Pass Around Joy

1. Packed and Stacked
2. Bev's Flowing Ardor
3. Meanwhile
4. Moke A Joint
5. Nanny Ride
6. Bwana
7. Joy Ride
8. Another Ride

TMI Tuesday: June 26, 2018

TMI Tuesday: June 26, 2018

Posted on June 25, 2018by TMI Tuesday blog

Heyyyy! TMI Tuesday time again.

1. Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?

It is perceptive reality with heaping side orders of frequent fantasy, receptive reverie, and highly dubious deceptive memory.

2. If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why? (No need to use real names just briefly describe the person and their relationship to you.)

No thank you. I will leave the past where it is.

3. You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?

a. oral sex, only giving
b. 69

Mutually assured orgasm-sma-struction.

c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation

4. With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?

The way each lover and I fit together determines the repertoire. No square pegs in round holes. Not that I mind pulling a little sumthin sumthin out of my hat when a little hocus pocus is in order.

5. Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?

Yes.

Bonus: Do you understand the clitoris?

They don't call me the clitoris whisperer for nothing. But just like snowflakes no two are the same, so I really haven't a clue. But I shall whisper sweetly at every opportunity.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: June 12, 2018

Posted on June 11, 2018by TMI Tuesday blog

What do ice-cream and sex have in common? We discuss both this TMI Tuesday, that’s what.

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

Vanilla Berry Swirl; because I l always savor slipping my vanilla bean into a sweet juicy succulent bursting berry and swirling it over under sideways down and around and around until together we churn out something sweet.

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

My filthy super smooth super smutty super sexy boom boom boomski bedroom talk.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

Health issues.

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

Me knowing when not to use my filthy super smooth super smutty super sexy boom boom boomski bedroom talk.

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

They don't recognize what a googly eyed romantic I am because I tend to keep that to myself

Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

My clueless self looking back at me.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Vegan Adventures

One minute I'm having a cold brew at Slammies.

Next thing I know I am in JoJo the bartenders bed.

She is stuffing the business end of a Cauliflower floret with an asparagus spear chaser up my rear.

I didn't know she was a vegan.

Just another early 21st century night.

Binaries

Either

You are dead

Or 

You are not dead

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brings to mind one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes: 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." 

Vivid Dreams

So I was prescribed Montelukast which has a reported side effect of vivid dreams. 

Lately I dreamt I was getting blow jobs from all the female cast members of SNL and last night that I was driving a NASCAR through a combo platter of animal research lab and football locker room. My job was to lock up when I was done and I was running late. Talk about pressure. 

Thanks Doc. 


Can't wait to sleep tonight. I wonder where I will go?

TMI Tuesday blog: February 27, 2017

27m ago

• blog
• dating
• erotic
• fantasy
• fetish

Welcome to another edition of TMI Tuesday. Come on and play!

1. Which one of the following do you need increased privacy:

a. Online interaction such as internet search and website interaction

b. Sex

c. Drinking or taking drugs (including marijuana use)

d. Work
Because I have been carrying this same two by four back and forth for the past ten years and if I did not have privacy someone might figure that out.

2. What decade in life were you most happiest with your sex life? Why? For example: teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.

I would have to split that into late twenties and early thirties. I was clicking on all cylinders in ways better than I ever though possible for lil' ol me. Everything was going my way. I would say the decade before that was a build up. The decade after that was a let down. But I have been riding that karma wave ever since.

3. What is the sexiest TV show you have watched in the last year? Why is it sexy to you?

Since memory for me seems to be a thing of the past I will go with what is fresh in my libido and that is the dark retelling of the Wizard of Oz titled "Emerald City". All because of West played by Ana Ularu. She is some kind of wonderful, and all the sexy magic I can handle right now.

4. What sex scene, from a movie, would you like to recreate?

Spending a weekend doing a reenactment of "Last Tango in Paris" et al.  Now go get the butter.

5. Your sex life is to become a reality series. Which of the following titles best fits:

a. “Too Big To Fail”

b. “Years of Solitude”

But when that damn bursts it gets all over everything and everybody. I would prefer the title:  "Boom and Bust - Rinse and Re- Pete A Trilogy "

c. “A Visual Guide for the Perplexed”

d. “Yes please, Any Time and Anywhere”

Bonus: The Late Phoenix would like to know your family’s secret recipes because he is hungry and thirsty all the time. Please share.

The only family recipe I have is for Disaster so I will do you a solid and spare you that step by step descent in to hell. Besides which I think most people have their very own secret family recipe for that morsel.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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