Showing posts with label knocked up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label knocked up. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

TMI Tuesday: December 6, 2016

TMI Tuesday: December 6, 2016

This time of year is full of family and reflection. Let’s carry that on through to TMI Tuesday, shall we?

Family & Reflection

family_tmi
1. What story does your family always tell about you?
While I was driving in heavy traffic in the family mini van ex wife pulled sun visor down in front of my eyes because the sun was in hers. "What. Am I supposed to use the force to drive?" I asked. The peanut gallery in the back thought it was hilarious. The ex didn't.
2. At what age did you become an adult?
Not yet.

3. What is the most embarrassing thing you know about your parents?
I was my fathers fiftieth birthday present from my forty year old mother. Boy were they ever surprised. I think that was the last time they did that.

4. This year, what is the mot important life lesson you’ve learned?
With all the hours spent dumbing down advertising to the lowest possible denominator for the American public, we clearly did not spend enough time.

5. Describe your childhood self in 5 words. Were you happy?
Very silly solitary Commander Cody. I was as happy as any one could be with imaginary rockets strapped on my back and a bullet shaped helmet on my head.

6. Who in your family has been kindest to you?
My sister.
Bonus:  Who are you closest to or trust the most– a friend or family member?

The force. It's always with me.


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Tuesday, November 8, 2016

TMI Tuesday: November 8, 2016

TMI Tuesday: November 8, 2016

Hi folks!
As the world knows it is crazy-time with elections in the USA, on this TMI Tuesday. Today’s questions were created by Recusen and little ol’ meThere are many types of elections–student council, city government, civic club boards, union leadership, executive boards, Homeowners Associations, and more.
vot
Refer to any type of recent elections as you answer the following questions.
1. I think more favorably about a candidate who has family, such as a spouse and kid(s)

True or False

Other than the fact it proves at least one other person liked the candidate well enough to fuck them and has some relevance showing their willingness to take responsibility for the base fruits of their burning lust.


2. I am more likely to support a candidate who has my same religious beliefs?

True or False

People believe the strangest things. As long as they are tolerant of other people's strange beliefs and do not have the perverse and violent inclination that only they know the truth and others must convert or die; believe on you crazy cosmic muffins.


3. I am skeptical of anyone running for any type of office if they are devoutly religious.
a. I agree
b. I somewhat agree

Define "devout" and how such devotion manifests itself in said cosmic muffin candidate.

c. I disagree
4. If a candidate has a sex scandal, I will not vote for them.
a. True

b. False

Scandal schmandel. But if it was violent and non consensual that would be a scandal of a different colour.


5. If a candidate was involved in a sex scandal more than a decade ago:
a. I don’t care, it will not affect my view of the candidate

But I repeat myself when I am under stress. "Scandal schmandel. But if it was violent and non consensual that would be a scandal of a different colour. "


b. Scandal is scandal, I cannot support that candidate
c. Everyone has sex, sex is not scandalous, I don’t care about a candidate’s sex life
d. For me to be swayed by a candidate’s sex scandal it would have to be something huge, heinous and against humanity
6. I like when candidates call each other names and get into negative verbal sparring.
a. Yes – It’s exciting to know the dirt
b. No – It’s a waste of time, I learn nothing about either candidate

'Nuff said.




7. Do you vote? Why or why not?

Yeppers. Voted a week ago and my mind was made up long before that.

8. When it comes to campaign ads, which kind do you respond to:
a. Negative ads
b. Positive ads

I am well aware of the perniciousness of advertising. I would say I ignore it but our monkey brains absorb all messages and despite our best efforts all messages are given equal weight deep in our limbic system.
Can I get a "No Way!"
WAY!


9. Has a campaign ever swayed your vote?

Sure. When they outline plans and visions for what could be or should be.

10. Do you pay attention to who placed/paid for the ad?

Indeed. Quote N.W.A. "Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money"



Bonus: Select all that you agree with, select as many or as few as you like.
a. U.S. Presidential campaign lasts way too long

Since the 1980's when we stopped being citizens and became consumers, our nations salespeople know the rule. A.B.C. (Always Be Campaigning)
Please make it stop already.


b. U.S. candidates for President waste a lot of money
c. 2016 U.S. Presidential Race is a steaming pile of poo!
————
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Planet Turns

But beginnings often foretell of the regrets to come. Being true to the marriage vows to the Planet, the sickness and health and all the other nuisances of the commitment actually had me believing that the vows were mutual and not a matter of convenience. I have an amazing naiveté when it comes to matters of the heart. I am a true believer.

So just how and why a mature, professional women would not buy her birth control pills because she doesn't have the cash, and not tell her boyfriend, that being me I as always presumed till the revelations about it is one of the many mounting mysteries of the Planet. Why to this day I don't know nor have I ever asked the Planet. But that the Planet could never talk to me in a manner I could comprehend is one of my many flaws. One must be still to hear the Planet.

What else was there to do, but have a huge extravagant wedding to add stealth to the blatant fact that I was just another guy that knocked up a girl. But this was no mere girl . This was the Planet

I knew I was looking at a successful career with absolutely no life. It was the emptiness in my days that would eventually set the table for not just my then distant midlife crisis but would quickly be followed by my next to mid life disaster that I still find myself in the throes of.

But the prospect of settling with the planet as my life companion seemed like a perfect idea. We had planned setting up house with two incomes. We both felt that after a proper time of her bringing up baby she would want to restart her career and even laid the groundwork with her former employer to do so. Indiana wasn't even looming.

At that point in my life Indiana seemed like it might actually be a good idea. I had discovered the hard way that even 7-11's had gravitational fields of their own. Especially when the vehicle in question was piloted by Mr. James with the trusty Yellenna at his side. Forward and reverse can become tricky concepts for the terminally inebriated.. The glass doors of a convenience store open 24 hours are not much of a defense from a 1966 Star Chief Executive. All of a sudden I look up and I am eye to eye with the potato chip racks Thats when you know it is time for you to take control of the situation and get the flock out of there. So I did.. Although that was a past incident I always had a sneaking suspicion that the vehicle in question may need to go to Indiana as well.

Indeed Yellanna was trusty for me at the time as well. Often times when the rest had left, she would remain always ready for a roll on my dirty red couch with her dirty red hair and generally dirty red complexion. A veritable ball of red curves and pink valleys of wet and warmth. Oh little miss of the pouty lips a plenty. But never with out the aid of alcohol a plenty, thank you very much. I feel a need to remind myself of the romps because they were soon to come to an end.

The Planet principle. You may come to the Planet, but the Planet will never come to you.

About Me

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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.