Saturday, June 2, 2018

Expectations

Whenever I feel others are not living up to my expectations,


I immediately review my expectations to see if they are still applicable.

Friday, May 25, 2018

Binaries


Either

You are dead

Or 

You are not dead

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brings to mind one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes: 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." 




Thursday, May 24, 2018

Vivid Dreams

So I was prescribed Montelukast which has a reported side effect of vivid dreams. 

Lately I dreamt I was getting blow jobs from all the female cast members of SNL and last night that I was driving a NASCAR through a combo platter of animal research lab and football locker room. My job was to lock up when I was done and I was running late. Talk about pressure. 

Thanks Doc. 


Can't wait to sleep tonight. I wonder where I will go?

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Voices


Sometimes I hear a familiar voice and I look up expectantly.

Only to see a young woman.

The realization sets in that the familiar voice was long ago.

While this woman's age is right.

Mine is all wrong.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

TMI Tuesday: April 18, 2017

TMI



Let’s do this–TMI Tuesday.

Sexual Revelations

1. When did you see your first naked women that was not a family member?
On her eighteenth birthday, because anytime before that she would not have qualified as a woman.
2. When did you see your first naked man that was not a family member?
On my eighteenth birthday, because anytime before that I would not have qualified as a man. ( Do I qualify as a family member? But anything before that would have been Freshman High School swimming class and I don not think I have overcome that jolt yet and there were no men in there. Just us lads, which was traumatic enough. )
3. What were the circumstances of each situation?
Stretched out on my bed and in a mirror in that order.
4. At what age did you first witness sexual nudity? Was it online or in print?
When I was nine years old I found a folded up paper on my Grammar School stairway landing which introduced me to the wonderful world of Playboy's Vargas Girl art. More than mere print, it was a gateway to enough unreasonable expectations to last a lifetime.
5. Sexual revolution–When was yours OR It hasn’t happened yet?
In my late twenties when I found out how horny some women in their thirties can be.
Bonus: What’s the best sex advice or sex education book you’ve ever read? (Yes, it must be a book, could be online but a book)
Kama Sutra. I really just read it for the articles. Honest.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tempest Slacker

Tempest Slacker was sleek. Her genes had clearly spent centuries traversing the four corners of the globe. Never mind the fact that a globe has no corners, her DNA had clearly kept all the best parts of her ancestors global meandering. While the eye of this beholder makes that highly judgmental and subjective observation the laws of symmetry always hold sway to visually processed stimuli. Or so I have heard. Perfection oozed from her pores. Shiny black hair that had never known the cruel blades of a shear made high heels a necessary accessory to keep her perfectly split free silky ends from sweeping the ground when the swishing sashay of her fully follicle obscured behind was in transit.

I alone among men knew the treasure that swayed behind that opaque curtain of hair, and was insanely jealous when ever she tossed her head to tease a peak to strangers left agog in her wake. But I digress. Or at least momentarily regress to my more base instincts until I again transcend myself to maintain my coveted title of human being.

But on this day and in this time it is a trifle trying. Tomorrow will be more so. For tomorrow is the day of days. The day when Tempest and I enter The Teapot Dome and tangle with the Gene Rippers one on one.

About Me

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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.