Showing posts with label girlfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girlfriends. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

TMI Tuesday: October 4, 2016

Tmi Tuesday: October 4, 2016

TMI Tuesday time. Answer these interesting questions adapted from Red Lipstick Project’s Sexual IQ test.

sexiq_tmi
1. You want to make love, but your partner says they’re too tired:
A. You’re annoyed and frustrated.
B. It’s a bummer, but you understand they’ve had a long day.
Not to mention the sexual energy build up in the delayed gratification. Being the horny little bunny that she is; a geezer like me can use a few hours off. I think she demurs on purpose because when I do deliver a load after a respite it is much more voluminous and intense. 

C. You give your partner an awkwardly long hug and say you’re happy to wait. It’s better when you’re both into it.
D. You get nervous and worried. Maybe your partner is cheating or doesn’t think you’re attractive anymore.
2. Who is having better sex? You or your best friends?
A. I am, obviously.
Now! For many years I know that wasn't the case. Making up for lost time I guess.

B. We don’t talk about our sex lives. Ever.
C. We all have our good times and bad times. We don’t usually compare.
D. My friends have all the good sex. I can’t keep up.
3. How do you feel right after sex?
A. Sweaty and ready to shower. A little gross.
B. Satisfied and energized. Ready to take on the world.
C. Calm and happy, falling asleep.
I might also add, spent, twisted, and smoking with extra sweaty and satisfied.

D. A bit let down and tired.
4. Which is better? Being a man or woman?
A. Men have it so much easier
B. Women have it so much easier
C. I’m having too much fun being me to worry about it.
But to each their own cross to bear. So taking turns baring them can be highly therapeutic.

D. Is there really much of a difference?
5. You and your partner had sex that wasn’t that good. You:
A. Don’t say anything. Everyone has an off day.
B. Complain or drop hints that things better improve.
C. Consider whether you should break up. Sex is the glue to a good relationship.
D. Discuss it immediately and see if there is anything you should be doing differently.
E. Not good sex? If the sex was consensual I find the concept "not good" null and void.
5. What advice do you wish you had when you started having sex?
A. Sex is a great thing–healthy and fun.
And the womens like it too.

B. A proper tour of the reproductive parts as errogenous zones and not from a biology point of view. Bodies are really strange and getting to know them can be awkward.
C. Sex is a beautiful thing but be careful to protect your body from STD’s and pregnancy or you won’t have as much fun.
D. Enjoy sex while you can, because it gets worse as you get older.
BonusWhat will your sex life be like when you’re 70 years old?
A. I can’t imagine having sex when I get wrinkly.
B. Probably a little sex here and there.
C. Hopefully my years of knowledge and hard work in the bedroom will pay off when I am having good sex in my 70’s.
D. Since I am having more and better sex than ever before I can only hope that the bell curve is a figment of statisticians imagination. Meanwhile, once more dear friend into the breach!
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

TMI Tuesday: August 23, 2016

TMI Tuesday: August 23, 2016

It’s TMI Tuesday. Express yourself.
love quote tmi
1. Do you want a divorce or to leave your present romantic relationship?

No. Like all romantic relationships it is a mix of joy, fear, lust, patience, preparing, consuming, consummating, cleaning, worrying, listening, watching, going, and cumming. A divorce would eliminate both the good and the bad in all those shared pursuits.

2. Do you think your relationship needs couples therapy?

We haven't hit any snags that we could not solve with our fingers lips and pleasant frictions and intimacies. I have found her very therapeutic and we are a couple so we are getting plenty of therapy on a more regular basis than I have had for a while. Therapy Schmerapy. That being said if my dear one suggested it I would go quick like a bunny. 

3. If your relationship needs fine-tuning, what would you do to tweak it?

Timing is everything. So if she could allow her orgasms to build longer and if I could cum sooner we might be more synchronous. She comes so fast and furious and often, most times when I am ready to unpack the goods, that it delays me even longer.  So we fuck on and on much to the neighbor's annoyance. 

Now I forget. Why do I want to tweak this. 

Never mind.

4. Is your relationship over or are you just in a bad phase? How long has the bad phase lasted so far?

It is never a bad phase when I am with her. We have our problems, mostly the kind we create for ourselves and inflict on each other, but the universe is a phase shifter so if we don't like this phase just check back in an hour. 

Something will happen. Something different.

5. What kind of relationship do you envision will make you happy?

Why the perfect one of course. Blow jobs on demand and my house in a constant state of order and cleanliness. Batting 500 is good in Major League Relationships, so I am as happy as a pig in fecal material.

6. Are you seeing someone new?

Yes I am. Even though we have been lovers for two years every time we embrace it is new. I have known this sweet person almost all my life. When I hold her it is like holding the college student, the young woman, the married lady, the determined divorcee, the professional insurance professional, the wild punk rock party girl, the horny vixen, the animal lover, and the most generous woman I know all rolled into my arms as the beautiful blond package I adore. Every now with her is new and every now is special.
Bonus: What major regret do you have so far in your life? Is it too late to change it?

I would have opened my eyes and really noticed what was going on all around me every second sooner.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Burping the Antichrist - 7. Restrained Beauties

As I slowly unbuttoned her blouse I was wondering where her brassiere went. The blouse was a sheer plain white button down and with Cheryl's endowments I can't imagine that I was so busy I hadn't paused a moment to breathe in the view as we transacted our commerce during business hoursWith a translucent covering such as this I know I would have spotted her brown nipples clearly through the fabricThose beauties were restrained earlier. I was sure. They were apparent and at attention now.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Burping the Antichrist - 6. Zipper

I could feel the cold metal teeth pressing along the upper length of my rapidly rising cock. Fortunately she was yanking the pull tab towards her creating a blessed space as the steely clasp locker teeth separated  forming a gaping flying V hole for my release. Her normal finesse and feline grace extended to the smooth downward dispatch of the slider descending the zipper tooth chain. She was swiftly rewarded with the engorged head of me brushing the painted red thumbnail of her as I sprang forth in righteous rigid attention.  Her squeal of delight made this commando mission a rousing success. The maneuvers that ensued are an epic to be shared another time.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Burping the Antichrist - 4. Resident Redheads

Snarfy Barfins and Wheezie Sleezie were Slammies resident red heads. Snarfy was short, luscious and lascivious. Wheezie was tall, lanky and easy. #nsfw #SmutWithaSmirk #artisanalsmut #redheads

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Petey's Stoopid Thought for the Day

When I find myself looking at a young woman it is not because I have any expectation of bedding her. Often it is because they remind me of bedded or bedded wish list items from years gone by.

Same holds true for checking out women my own age. Except; though still highly unlikely, hope springs almost as eternal as other parts of my nether regions.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Heidi Klum's Massively Flared Jeans (PHOTO, POLL)

Heidi Klum's Massively Flared Jeans (PHOTO, POLL):

From the baseless rumor and innuendo desk: Heidi is merely hiding her now hideously swollen calves after a freak plastic surgery misadventu­re.
The misinforma­tion always starts with me.

'via Blog this'

About Me

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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.