TMI Tuesday: June 19, 2018

by TMI Tuesday blog

Hi there! Let’s play TMI Tuesday.

Take a Look at Me Now.

1. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?

5 years ago: I was worried I would never feel her slender fingers lift the back of my scrotum as she knelt before me and enveloped me in her ever intriguing mouth.

Now: I worry I will never again feel her slender fingers lift the back of my scrotum as she kneels before me and envelops me in her ever intriguing mouth.

2. Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?
a. advertisements
b. media and social media
c. comments from others
d. introspection and analysis of self

e. all of the above.

They all give me both the negative and positive body image I have of myself. Since I am a body and not just leasing one; I soak it all in. But I believe the vast majority of the input I receive from all of the above sources; is those sources trying to sell me something.    

3. How confident are you as a person?
a. no confidence at all

On the confidence scale as devised by Sir Sidney Fudd I scored ambivalent.

b. confident around friends and family
c. confident at work, and in my job
d. very confident in my surroundings–work, social settings, with strangers

4. How creative a person are you? Why?
a. not creative
b. average creativity
c. creative in some situations

I am all about  the moment and the present situation.  Aren't we all now.

 d. very creative

5. Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?
a. agree
b. undecided or Don’t Know
c. disagree

I never resent what is. I never lie, and I am always right. Vote For Me. #NotInsane

Bonus: What do you wish you had invented?

A better me. Of course I am still a WIP.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Unreasonable Expectations

I rolled into Slammies one weekday afternoon for a large draught of unreasonable expectations. There she was on the other side of the bar staring me right in the kisser. The only thing to do was to stick to the irrational exuberance script that has served me so well and soldier on.




A decade of Slammies separation meant the woman behind the bar did not recognize me as the regular I once was. Now was not the time to dissuade her. I ordered a pint. There was a CUBS hat on the bartenders head and Chicago CUBS Baseball was on the shiny new multitude of flat screen TV's that now littered the saloon. A far cry from the ancient flickering cathode ray tube corner mounted box that once served as the sports center of this one time corridor of a bar.




On the plus side I could not drink enough pints of unreasonable expectations to have them overtake me as I watched the energetic bartender reach for libations on the top shelve. Each reach exposing more of her well toned reasonably bared daytime mid-drift. Framed in what to me appeared goth inspired basic black attire. Modest but well fitting and well suited for the bars expanded and updated facade.




Her exposed belly bling sparkled and rewarded my irrationally exuberant countenance with a glint of rational promise. Then she rolled up with two shot glasses and a bottle of Jack and said, " I drank too much yesterday and if you don't do a shot with me now I might die."




Her sincerity and my gentlemanly tendencies coaxed an extra exuberant, "Bottoms up!" from me. That was our cue for the ritual downing of the booze. Even fueled by Jack Daniels the unreasonable expectations jet stream would not drag me along today.




He who drinks, then runs away will live to drink another day. Ball game was over and the end of the work day crowd was shuffling in so I bid the bartender ado, tipped her and my hat and out the door I went.




That was the first, but lucky for me, not the last time I would have a JoJo sighting,

Highly Unlikely

JoJo was the unlikely, as well as the very likely tail end of Tails from Slammies. First impressions are quite often highly skewed and incorrect except for when they are not. For the type of woman you would never peg for a geezer groupie, baby girl resplendent in daddy issues, or grandmother; this tight bodied, tatted up, ageless energetic goofball beauty was a force of nature.


Through the long unfolding of Tails of Slammies, spanning the three sisters of legend: Cathy, Janine, and Peggy, through the incidental drive-by Sindy, JoJo was apropos punctuation.

Vegan Adventures

One minute I'm having a cold brew at Slammies.

Next thing I know I am in JoJo the bartenders bed.

She is stuffing the business end of a Cauliflower floret with an asparagus spear chaser up my rear.

I didn't know she was a vegan.

Just another early 21st century night.

Expectations

Whenever I feel others are not living up to my expectations,

I immediately review my expectations to see if they are still applicable.

Tempest Slacker

Tempest Slacker was sleek. Her genes had clearly spent centuries traversing the four corners of the globe. Never mind the fact that a globe has no corners, her DNA had clearly kept all the best parts of her ancestors global meandering. While the eye of this beholder makes that highly judgmental and subjective observation the laws of symmetry always hold sway to visually processed stimuli. Or so I have heard. Perfection oozed from her pores. Shiny black hair that had never known the cruel blades of a shear made high heels a necessary accessory to keep her perfectly split free silky ends from sweeping the ground when the swishing sashay of her fully follicle obscured behind was in transit.

I alone among men knew the treasure that swayed behind that opaque curtain of hair, and was insanely jealous when ever she tossed her head to tease a peak to strangers left agog in her wake. But I digress. Or at least momentarily regress to my more base instincts until I again transcend myself to maintain my coveted title of human being.

But on this day and in this time it is a trifle trying. Tomorrow will be more so. For tomorrow is the day of days. The day when Tempest and I enter The Teapot Dome and tangle with the Gene Rippers one on one.

TMI Tuesday: December 20, 2016

1d ago

• being
• blog
• dating
• december
• fantasy

Happy TMI Tuesday. You know what to do. . .

Life and Being

1. Why do you live where you live?

Because I feel at home here.

2. Do you want to have your sins forgiven?

Define sin. However I have always tried to treat others with kindness and not do to them what I would not want done to myself. But I have taken requests.

3. Do you believe in heaven and hell?

It's all what you make of it. But I always remember there is a lie in the middle of every thing that we believe.

4. After life, where do you think you will end up?

Somewhere else. Something will happen. Something different. 

5. If you have children, would they say you are the favorite parent? Why do you think this?

I wish nothing but the best for the base fruits of my burning lust. I did the best I could with the tools I had available. What I think is irrelevant. If they think? I did my job. Favorite is just perceptual score keeping. Often flawed. Rarely reliable. Just like the other half of this equation.

6. Has anything ever happened to you that was dramatic, personal or spectacular enough to cause you to be believe in a God?

Many things. But it may not be the who of whom you are thinking. Oh the stories we tell ourselves.

Bonus: What is something you consider to be a great personal success? Why was it so significant?

Letting go. Clutching extra baggage carries unnecessary and exorbitant fees and tolls.

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TMI Tuesday: October 18, 2016

TMI Tuesday: October 18, 2016

Posted on October 17, 2016by TMI Tuesday blog

Hello world! Guess what we are talking about this week at TMI Tuesday?

1. Good sex can be something I will be secretly smiling about for years to come at the most inappropriate times imaginable.

2. Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you in a very flimsy white jumpsuit with nothing else beneath, it's buttons open to your navel, a parachute, and my little Burro Pepe .

3. Being present and accounted for is all about putting pleasure back into sex.

4. Excessive use of pornography can distort expectations of what sex in real life should or could be like.

a. True: If what you want is what politicians , business men (and women), corporations, and advertisers are selling you; might as well jump in bed with what the pornographers are selling as well.

b. False: Very desirable and aesthetically pleasing people with physical forms you may or may not ever share a bed, desk, couch, or pasture with giving you erotic inspirations to share with your beloved ones when appropriate; only furthers a mentoring model for fulfilling our secret desires.

Care to expound?  Clearly define "excessive" for you and your intended partner. Once clarified step right up.

5.Your willingness to communicate verbally as well as physically boosts my sexual performance. The look on your face when you cum loud and long boosts my sexual enjoyment.

Bonus:  What is the last way that you experienced sexual pleasure? Although it was in the missionary position I worked you long, deep, and hard enough for your legs to finally spread wide  enough amid your thigh clenching climaxes for my balls to become coated and slathered from dipping into your savory soup du jour tureen.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Bonneville Redux.

When I got back to my car both Joy and Reno radiated petulance, but since it was my car and I was doing them a favor I just ignored it. Reno’s house was closest and since they were obviously done neither of them complained about me dropping Reno off first.

When Reno exited I could not help but notice Joy’s very obvious display of indifference to his departure.

It had been a busy night indeed and when Joy climbed over the seat and parked her very pleasing derriere in the front seat I had a feeling it might get busier. Joy was in very tight jeans and the sight of her snug round behind was enticing considering the considerable teasing Bwanna had  given my somewhat awakened and unrequited ardor of the eve.

Joy was at my side now and like a bolt of lightning it struck me. Little did I realize that this lightening would be striking me over and over again for the rest of my life. In between paying close attention to the traffic more and more my eyes drifted to Joy in silhouette at my side. Her long frizzy Janis Joplin hair and large round glasses to match. Soft pleasing features with soft round cheeks, which were often flushed and rosy. I thought how attentive she was to me during rehearsals, in between her crew duties, and scene changes while I was backstage awaiting my cue. It finally made it’s way through my thick skull that she had been spending that time with me and not Reno. Could it be?

We came to a stop light and I looked over at her. In the half dusk of car interior and street lights combo my eyes were drawn from her sweet face down to the parted white blouse and cleavage formed by two immense perfect breasts. Certainly the largest breasts that any woman has sported in that passenger seat while I was driving. Thoughts of Rene’s spare, though quite delectable boob allotment went through my mind. Satisfying, but always left me longing for more substance to maneuver and fondle through our lovemaking. I knew it was just the longing to experience other fruits that made me wonder what abundance well beyond a handful or a mouthful would offer. I had limited experience in various depths and durations with other larger and differing tits. Some pleasing. Some not so much depending on outcomes, situations, temperaments, and availability. But clearly at this point in my life, if my perceptions of Joy’s pheromonal, hormonal, and behavioral signals was correct: a backseat, or front seat encounter with Joys bounty did not seem out of the question. It  would be an extraordinary first for me. But I did not want to make assumptions. Not now. Not ever. Nor did I want to miss out on an experience that could lead to the beginning of something, possibly the end of something else, or if nothing else memories of moments that would warm me in many long cold winters that, if I was lucky, were to come.

I know I was highly charged from my staircase tango with Bwanna, but it was hard to tell if I would be the closing act for the Reno show tonight. As if reading my mind Joy filled in one blank for me.

“Reno is such a jerk!”

TMI Tuesday: October 4, 2016

Tmi Tuesday: October 4, 2016

Posted on October 3, 2016by TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday time. Answer these interesting questions adapted from Red Lipstick Project’s Sexual IQ test.

1. You want to make love, but your partner says they’re too tired:

A. You’re annoyed and frustrated.
B. It’s a bummer, but you understand they’ve had a long day.

Not to mention the sexual energy build up in the delayed gratification. Being the horny little bunny that she is; a geezer like me can use a few hours off. I think she demurs on purpose because when I do deliver a load after a respite it is much more voluminous and intense. 

C. You give your partner an awkwardly long hug and say you’re happy to wait. It’s better when you’re both into it.
D. You get nervous and worried. Maybe your partner is cheating or doesn’t think you’re attractive anymore.

2. Who is having better sex? You or your best friends?

A. I am, obviously.

Now! For many years I know that wasn't the case. Making up for lost time I guess.

B. We don’t talk about our sex lives. Ever.
C. We all have our good times and bad times. We don’t usually compare.
D. My friends have all the good sex. I can’t keep up.

3. How do you feel right after sex?

A. Sweaty and ready to shower. A little gross.
B. Satisfied and energized. Ready to take on the world.
C. Calm and happy, falling asleep.

I might also add, spent, twisted, and smoking with extra sweaty and satisfied.

D. A bit let down and tired.

4. Which is better? Being a man or woman?

A. Men have it so much easier
B. Women have it so much easier
C. I’m having too much fun being me to worry about it.

But to each their own cross to bear. So taking turns baring them can be highly therapeutic.

D. Is there really much of a difference?

5. You and your partner had sex that wasn’t that good. You:

A. Don’t say anything. Everyone has an off day.
B. Complain or drop hints that things better improve.
C. Consider whether you should break up. Sex is the glue to a good relationship.
D. Discuss it immediately and see if there is anything you should be doing differently.

E. Not good sex? If the sex was consensual I find the concept "not good" null and void.

5. What advice do you wish you had when you started having sex?

A. Sex is a great thing–healthy and fun.

And the womens like it too.

B. A proper tour of the reproductive parts as errogenous zones and not from a biology point of view. Bodies are really strange and getting to know them can be awkward.
C. Sex is a beautiful thing but be careful to protect your body from STD’s and pregnancy or you won’t have as much fun.
D. Enjoy sex while you can, because it gets worse as you get older.

Bonus: What will your sex life be like when you’re 70 years old?

A. I can’t imagine having sex when I get wrinkly.
B. Probably a little sex here and there.
C. Hopefully my years of knowledge and hard work in the bedroom will pay off when I am having good sex in my 70’s.

D. Since I am having more and better sex than ever before I can only hope that the bell curve is a figment of statisticians imagination. Meanwhile, once more dear friend into the breach!

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!