Tuesday, November 20, 2018

TMI Tuesday: November 20, 2018

Spill! It’s time for another TMI Tuesday.
1. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?

Funny. I always seem to meet people at the right time.

2. Who in your life do you wish you’d never met? Why?

But I had to meet them all. No bout adoubt it. Otherwise there would be even more holes in me and the universe. Good holes. Bad holes. Ugly holes. So I did my duty and met every single good, bad, and ugly hole that I was meant to and did my best to fill them. With good stuff. Bad stuff. Ugly stuff. On a case by case basis as the situation called for and as the law allowed.

3. What personality trait or description that others attribute to you do you hate?

Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 
Oppositional defiance and echolalia. 

4. If you have children, do you want them to be just like you?

Nope. I want them to be just like them.

5. What have you given up but yet used to love?

Playing Guitfiddle. It gave me blisters on my fingers.
Bonus: Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck?

Since it is a well known fact that what you don't see coming is what usually gets you, best to see that truck that is about to hit you. Besides, when I hear duck I think some one is starting my favorite game, duck duck goose. We all know where that can lead to.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesdayquestions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

TMI Tuesday – November 13, 2018

Let’s do this! TMI Tuesday is up.
1. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them? (I know TMI Tuesday blog is number one, so name three other things  😀 ).
  1. What you are wearing under your dress.
  2. Do your panties match your brassiere. 
  3. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whose shoe is it. Laces or loafers. (Velcro constitutes immediate banishment from my imagination.) How far did it fall. Where is it now. Does it match the last shoe that fell. 
2. When sleeping with your significant other (yes, actually sleeping) do you like to cuddle up or do you prefer sleeping away from them nestled in your own blanket cocoon?
Call me Cuddly Dudley.  I would compromise and accommodate a communal cocoon with an air gap if you are a Fidgety Fiona.
3. Would you rather:
a. Drive 200 miles well over the legally drunk limit?
b. Drive 200 miles after being awake for 72 hours?
b. Less likely to receive jail time when I hurt or kill someone else due to my negligence and poor planning
4. Would you rather:
a. Be topless all the time
b. Pantless all the time.
b. No mystery. No surprises. All two inches of solid blue granite would be on the table for all to see. 
5. What is something you could talk about for hours?
Bonus: What is something you could talk about for hours and not bore people to death?
Two inches of solid blue granite.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Saturday, November 10, 2018

World Cup

It is never a good idea to go into a pub at 10 am on a Sunday morning. Especially when you are allegedly old enough to know better. But I had watched a few soccer matches leading up to the final and had found a nice Public House that catered to soccer fans that was open that early on a Sunday. In I went to Kill a few Kennys with a couple of friends. There were a few overconfident Eastern European types in the pub as well and after a bit a few friendly wagers were made. The rest of the daytime hours are history. A big lunch after the match and pockets full of gambling largess I was released into the wild to fend for myself.

The night time hours were near, but not near enough. Where should I go?

I made my way cross town to Slammies.

It had been a while since I had been there. A mere matter of months this time rather than years for a change. I confess my slightly liquored and age addled brain almost admitted to itself that there was an irrational exuberance and audacity of hope that JoJo would be the barkeep this evening. Not being enough of a frequent flyer patron to know the schedules it was a crap shoot at best. But hey, this had been my day for being on the right side of the crap and besides it was still early. JoJo always did wonders for both my mood and libido, if for no other reason that she exuded exquisite energy on all spectrums.

Well when I arrived the the place was busy with World Cuppers who also had been sporting since the early morning hours so entertainment was to be had in conversation and camaraderie. Not to mention since when does anybody in the US care about soccer. But Rodney was slinging the drinks and truth be told he was much more 
adept with soccer ruffian speak than JoJo would have been.

But with a day of imbibing and visions of JoJo and other ghosts of Slammies gibbering in my head; plus ill gotten gains in my pocket left only one thing to be done.

I went to long forgotten but dark corner of many a man's past and headed further afield out to the airport strip clubs.

Dark. Expensive. Reeking of unrequited male lust after the unattainable dreams and transactional commerce of the most basic and ancient kind. Knowing that I was stimulating the economy and myself in a manner that will only result in a trip down memory lane of what a naked woman of a totally inappropriate age for me looks like, I was on a splurge. The visual enticement would certainly charge my batteries. Polite, but never wanting to waste a dancers time when she could be transacting commerce, left me with plenty of time to enjoy the dancers lithe bodies from afar. Not dark lurking corner afar. More midway between drooling stage side tipping range and creeper corner where the bouncers watch for the first whiff of trouble.

The dancers are delightful. All ages and body types. Lovely to the last jiggle. I am mesmerized at the bounty displayed. Some eliciting illicit memories. Others merely long held fantasies. Much to the dismay of the women's bottom line I am too frugal to invest too much of my liquid capital on things other than my liquid hobbies.

That is when it happened. The stage went dark. The MC announce the next performers name. I don't even recall what it was. Your stock in trade strippers name. It was clever. It was enticing. It was not to common. Not to abstruse. It was just…...JoJo!

Okay. I admit I thought about skulking out. For her ? For me? Considering the number of faces she has to see across the weathered bar of Slammies was I kidding myself that she would even recognize me? With the stage lights could she even see beyond the leering laddies stage side with their mitts full of lucre?

I stayed. I confess. The thought of seeing JoJo naked, strutting, and shimmering won the fantasy soccer day prize. Yes I’m that guy. My unreasonable expectations were taking a step that my wildest hopes would have dismissed just moments before. Naked strange women was one thing. My favorite bartender whose imagined visage has roiled my monkey brain for months was a horse of a different color.

I was transfixed as her goth girl inspired clothing became a melting pathway to paradise.

Then our eyes met.

About Me

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Purveyor of paralogical compliance to verbally mediated reality, artisanal smut, with a pinch of full time flâneur tossed in to taste.