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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Caring for the Planet

       The wedding ceremony, the honeymoon, all seemed like a dream. Things were as marvelous as could be. Of course that was my view then and for years that was what I thought the Planet thought. I know now that I have never had any idea what the Planet thought. I know now it was foolish of me to presume such a thing.

Upon our return to our real lives we both went on with our careers. Although with the Planet's delicate condition our once rather party time relationship had to be curtailed. The wining was no longer an option for the two of us. But we still did a lot of dining. We both knew that our restaurant days were numbered with the approach of the Planets number one satellite. Perhaps this was where the seeds of resentment started to set in. The storms that were to become the Planets repertoire perhaps had there beginning there. But the  Planet was ever stealthy. If storms were brewing their was nothing appearing on the radar. After all the Planet was still careening in her single purpose orbit. I didn’t know it was decaying already. The honeymoon was over.  There was a nursery to get together. Shopping and decorating to be done. The Planet was nesting and I thought I was helping. Or was I? It was all a blur.

It was months of breathing classes, realization that we were soon to be parents, responsible for a new life. Both working . Preparing. But still two scared not so young kids diving into adulthood. Real adulthood. No instruction manuals come with pregnant women or children We only had our own parental experiences to go by. Those of course were on the receiving end of parenting. I was raised by people who had there training pre WWII. The Planet was raised by folks who had post WWII raising up. This detail would be very significant in our family life.

Birthing is a bloody business. But what happens during the gestational period ,as I found out years later, sets the stage in a world were there is no such thing as forgiveness. Apparently much can go unsaid and resolution is to be implicitly denied. Known or unknown. As we all know it is what you don't know that gets you. The Planet never speaks.

     If I ever meet the guy or gal who thought it was a good idea to have the father in the room for the labor and  birth of their child, I would I would smile and accept their opinion as just that. Well at least that is me, but I was in the same mode I would be in throughout our decaying orbit, Whatever the Planet wanted I would try to provide. In a hospital setting there is no more useless feeling than that of a prospective dad being there. I guess we have a value as a target while the mother is in labor. A woman who spends so much time claiming it's her body and she has reproductive rights, sure changes her tune when in labor. All of a sudden it's all you, the fathers fault. Like I'm the one who didn't buy the birth control pills and failed to tell anyone. Well she's in tune with her body. She'll know if it's her time to be catching for real. Those were thoughts I never shared. It was always unsaid. But through that experience I only loved the Planet more. She was magnificent. After twenty some hours of labor her Amazon OB GYN acquiesced and they did a cesarean section.  Clark was born healthy and happy, mother was sedated, and I finally went home and got some sleep.

It's what we don't fear that gets us every time.
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