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Tuesday, July 17, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 17, 2018


Fun and a bit crazy, that is this week’s TMI Tuesday.

It could happen…

1. If each of your index fingers could spew a liquid for the rest of your life, what liquid(s) would it be.
Rainwater and grain alcohol. My cocktail of choice BTW.
2. If you could talk to everyone in the world for 5 minutes, all at once, what would you say?
I would say, "Why don't ya'll dummy up for five minutes and think before you say something from now on." Then I would enjoy the next four minutes and fifty seven seconds of peace before the endless gibberish resumes.
3. Would you rather not be able to eat for a week OR not be able to _____ for a month?
Easy peasy. I would rather not be able to converse with anyone for a month. See answer to number 2. Now let's eat!
4. What exhilarates you?
Eating.
5. What is the best perk of your job? What is the best perk you have ever had at any job?
Having my own office with a big comfy couch and a door that locked.
Bonus:  Just how naughty are you?
Very naughty. Especially when I had my own office with a big comfy couch and a door that locked.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Friday, July 13, 2018

Tender Tabernacle

When I am inside you I adore running my fingers through the satiny pages of your flowing folds. Running my fingers along the event horizon where my shaft sleekly splits you wide and melds into making us as one. How your body pulses and vibrates when my finger tip presses my moment where your taint starts and my full immersion leads. As my finger trace back around gathering a glistening sheen unable stop until I have encircled my girth. Perfect placement for my thumb to find the very pinnacle of your tender tabernacle. There to give service and pay homage to that nubbin with an ever gentle rubbing. Your blue eyes become bluer. Your blond hair becomes blonder. Golden strands fall before your face and you sigh, then gasp the sweet sigh of release.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 10, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 10, 2018

Guess what time it is? TMI Tuesday!

Here’s looking at you. . .

1. What is the most marvelous thing you have ever seen?

I lost count when I turned seventeen. But the look on a woman's face when she comes is always a marvel.
2. Are you a starter or a finisher?

I am a finisher, but very judicious about what I start.
3. When did your heart last ‘skip a beat’? Why?

Last time she came all around me, because it was marvelous.
4. What does your perfect day look like?

I'm looking at it right now. Because it is next, and a good day today is better than what might be a perfect day tomorrow.
5. What would you call your autobiography?

He Consumed. He Eliminated. He Reproduced. He Stacked Things On Top Of Other Things. (and he was very happy to have come)
Bonus:  How does it feel to be photographed?

I hate having my soul stolen, so put the cell phone down and walk away.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

TMI Tuesday: July 3, 2018

Thought-provoking TMI Tuesday blog post here for your enjoyment.

Hellowe’re listening.

1. Picture the child you once were, what did that child do very well?
As a child I was always able to crawl under the radar. Even if it was a newfangled invention back then.
2. What are you really good at now?
I am presently really good at sneaking under the radar. Purely out of necessity since all radar has death rays attached to it these days despite government denials. 
3. Did you ever expect love in return and not get it?
I always try to have no expectations. I made the mistake of having expectations for returned love once. What a chump I am.
4. Who do you need to get in touch with because it has been so long?
Everyone I have not been in touch with has counted off the perfect amount of time. Still counting in all cases until the counting stops. 
5. What are your thoughts on this: “Every woman deserves her special day. I get that. But does it really have to cost so much fucking money? I mean, c’mon. If you’re serious about building a future with a guy, why bankrupt him?”
Every person deserves a special day. If it needs to cost lots of money you may have the wrong person.
Bonus: What is your number one priority?
Being part of the solution, no matter how small that contribution may be.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Pass Around Joy

TMI Tuesday: June 26, 2018

TMI Tuesday: June 26, 2018

Heyyyy! TMI Tuesday time again.

tmituesdayblog, sex is life
1. Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?
It is perceptive reality with heaping side orders of frequent fantasy, receptive reverie, and highly dubious deceptive memory.
2. If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why? (No need to use real names just briefly describe the person and their relationship to you.)
No thank you. I will leave the past where it is.
3. You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?
a. oral sex, only giving
b. 69
Mutually assured orgasm-sma-struction.

c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation
4. With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?
The way each lover and I fit together determines the repertoire. No square pegs in round holes. Not that I mind pulling a little sumthin sumthin out of my hat when a little hocus pocus is in order.
5. Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?
Yes.
Bonus: Do you understand the clitoris?
They don't call me the clitoris whisperer for nothing. But just like snowflakes no two are the same, so I really haven't a clue. But I shall whisper sweetly at every opportunity.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

TMI Tuesday: June 19, 2018

Hi there! Let’s play TMI Tuesday.

Take a Look at Me Now.

1. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?
5 years ago: I was worried I would never feel her slender fingers lift the back of my scrotum as she knelt before me and enveloped me in her ever intriguing mouth.
Now: I worry I will never again feel her slender fingers lift the back of my scrotum as she kneels before me and envelops me in her ever intriguing mouth.

2. Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?
a. advertisements
b. media and social media
c. comments from others
d. introspection and analysis of self
e. all of the above.
They all give me both the negative and positive body image I have of myself. Since I am a body and not just leasing one; I soak it all in. But I believe the vast majority of the input I receive from all of the above sources; is those sources trying to sell me something.    
3. How confident are you as a person?
a. no confidence at all
On the confidence scale as devised by Sir Sidney Fudd I scored ambivalent.
b. confident around friends and family
c. confident at work, and in my job
d. very confident in my surroundings–work, social settings, with strangers
4. How creative a person are you? Why?
a. not creative
b. average creativity
c. creative in some situations
I am all about  the moment and the present situation.  Aren't we all now.
 d. very creative
5. Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?
a. agree
b. undecided or Don’t Know
c. disagree
I never resent what is. I never lie, and I am always right. Vote For Me. #NotInsane
Bonus: What do you wish you had invented?
A better me. Of course I am still a WIP.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Unreasonable Expectations




I rolled into Slammies one weekday afternoon for a large draught of unreasonable expectations. There she was on the other side of the bar staring me right in the kisser. The only thing to do was to stick to the irrational exuberance script that has served me so well and soldier on.

A decade of Slammies separation meant the woman behind the bar did not recognize me as the regular I once was. Now was not the time to dissuade her. I ordered a pint. There was a CUBS hat on the bartenders head and Chicago CUBS Baseball was on the shiny new multitude of flat screen TV's that now littered the saloon. A far cry from the ancient flickering cathode ray tube corner mounted box that once served as the sports center of this one time corridor of a bar.

On the plus side I could not drink enough pints of unreasonable expectations to have them overtake me as I watched the energetic bartender reach for libations on the top shelve. Each reach exposing more of her well toned reasonably bared daytime mid-drift. Framed in what to me appeared goth inspired basic black attire. Modest but well fitting and well suited for the bars expanded and updated facade.

Her exposed belly bling sparkled and rewarded my irrationally exuberant countenance with a glint of rational promise. Then she rolled up with two shot glasses and a bottle of Jack and said, " I drank too much yesterday and if you don't do a shot with me now I might die."

Her sincerity and my gentlemanly tendencies coaxed an extra exuberant, "Bottoms up!" from me. That was our cue for the ritual downing of the booze. Even fueled by Jack Daniels the unreasonable expectations jet stream would not drag me along today.

He who drinks, then runs away will live to drink another day. Ball game was over and the end of the work day crowd was shuffling in so I bid the bartender ado, tipped her and my hat and out the door I went.

That was the first, but lucky for me, not the last time I would have a JoJo sighting.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

TMI Tuesday: June 12, 2018

What do ice-cream and sex have in common? We discuss both this TMI Tuesday, that’s what.

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?


Vanilla Berry Swirl; because I l always savor slipping my vanilla bean into a sweet juicy succulent bursting berry and swirling it over under sideways down and around and around until together we churn out something sweet.

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

My filthy super smooth super smutty super sexy boom boom boomski bedroom talk.
3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

Health issues.
4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

Me knowing when not to use mfilthy super smooth super smutty super sexy boom boom boomski bedroom talk.
5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

They don't recognize what a googly eyed romantic I am because I tend to keep that to myself
Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

My clueless self looking back at me.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Highly Unlikely



JoJo was the unlikely, as well as the very likely tail end of Tails from Slammies. First impressions are quite often highly skewed and incorrect except for when they are not. For the type of woman you would never peg for a geezer groupie, baby girl resplendent in daddy issues, or grandmother; this tight bodied, tatted up, ageless energetic goofball beauty was a force of nature.

Through the long unfolding of Tails of Slammies, spanning the three sisters of legend: Cathy, Janine, and Peggy, through the incidental drive-by Sindy, JoJo was apropos punctuation.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Vegan Adventures




One minute I'm having a cold brew at Slammies.

Next thing I know I am in JoJo the bartenders bed.

She is stuffing the business end of a Cauliflower floret with an asparagus spear chaser up my rear.

I didn't know she was a vegan.

Just another early 21st century night.

Monday, June 4, 2018

TMI Tuesday: June 5, 2018


Hi. How are you? Are you going to play TMI Tuesday?

What kind of person are you?

1. Are you addicted to any social media (twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc.)?
Addicted is too strong a word. I love being online, over sharing, cathartic smut tales, and all the beauty that is shared.  So I view it as a life enhancement. When I no longer feel that way I will sign off. Good night and good luck.
2. You know a secret about someone. What do you do with that information?
a. I keep it to yourself
I can dummy up with the best of them.

b. I tell my best friend
c. I wait until they hurt me and use it as ammunition
d. I tell everyone I can, I don’t mean to, I just cannot keep a secret
3. You see someone breaking the rules at work, what do you do?
a. Pretend not to see what is going on
b. Inform upper management
c. Advise the co-worker that their actions are frowned upon and can lead to job loss
d. Tell everyone else in the office what you saw
e. Totally depends on the rule that is broken. Some employers make rules for       the same reason a dog licks itself. Because they can.
4. A friend has a new hairstyle that is un-becoming, and not really age-appropriate on them. They ask you how they look. What is your reply?
a. You look just fine.
b. You look much better this way.
c. OMG, you look a bit ridiculous.
d. *Silence*
e. "What do you think?" After all unbecoming is a highly subjective opinion.
5. How helpful are you at home?
a. I come home and immediately veg out on the couch/bed.
b. I cook and clean a few times a week.
c. I am extremely helpful.
If I see it and it needs to be done I do it. Of course that too can be very subjective and a matter of opinion. Now just lay back. That sweet oyster's not going to eat itself.

d. I do what I am asked and nothing more.
Bonus: In your opinion, what is the best city in the world? Why?
French Lick. Because it is fun to say, request, and do.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!