TMI Tuesday: June 19, 2018

by TMI Tuesday blog

Hi there! Let’s play TMI Tuesday.

Take a Look at Me Now.

1. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?

5 years ago: I was worried I would never feel her slender fingers lift the back of my scrotum as she knelt before me and enveloped me in her ever intriguing mouth.

Now: I worry I will never again feel her slender fingers lift the back of my scrotum as she kneels before me and envelops me in her ever intriguing mouth.

2. Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?
a. advertisements
b. media and social media
c. comments from others
d. introspection and analysis of self

e. all of the above.

They all give me both the negative and positive body image I have of myself. Since I am a body and not just leasing one; I soak it all in. But I believe the vast majority of the input I receive from all of the above sources; is those sources trying to sell me something.    

3. How confident are you as a person?
a. no confidence at all

On the confidence scale as devised by Sir Sidney Fudd I scored ambivalent.

b. confident around friends and family
c. confident at work, and in my job
d. very confident in my surroundings–work, social settings, with strangers

4. How creative a person are you? Why?
a. not creative
b. average creativity
c. creative in some situations

I am all about  the moment and the present situation.  Aren't we all now.

 d. very creative

5. Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?
a. agree
b. undecided or Don’t Know
c. disagree

I never resent what is. I never lie, and I am always right. Vote For Me. #NotInsane

Bonus: What do you wish you had invented?

A better me. Of course I am still a WIP.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Unreasonable Expectations

I rolled into Slammies one weekday afternoon for a large draught of unreasonable expectations. There she was on the other side of the bar staring me right in the kisser. The only thing to do was to stick to the irrational exuberance script that has served me so well and soldier on.




A decade of Slammies separation meant the woman behind the bar did not recognize me as the regular I once was. Now was not the time to dissuade her. I ordered a pint. There was a CUBS hat on the bartenders head and Chicago CUBS Baseball was on the shiny new multitude of flat screen TV's that now littered the saloon. A far cry from the ancient flickering cathode ray tube corner mounted box that once served as the sports center of this one time corridor of a bar.




On the plus side I could not drink enough pints of unreasonable expectations to have them overtake me as I watched the energetic bartender reach for libations on the top shelve. Each reach exposing more of her well toned reasonably bared daytime mid-drift. Framed in what to me appeared goth inspired basic black attire. Modest but well fitting and well suited for the bars expanded and updated facade.




Her exposed belly bling sparkled and rewarded my irrationally exuberant countenance with a glint of rational promise. Then she rolled up with two shot glasses and a bottle of Jack and said, " I drank too much yesterday and if you don't do a shot with me now I might die."




Her sincerity and my gentlemanly tendencies coaxed an extra exuberant, "Bottoms up!" from me. That was our cue for the ritual downing of the booze. Even fueled by Jack Daniels the unreasonable expectations jet stream would not drag me along today.




He who drinks, then runs away will live to drink another day. Ball game was over and the end of the work day crowd was shuffling in so I bid the bartender ado, tipped her and my hat and out the door I went.




That was the first, but lucky for me, not the last time I would have a JoJo sighting,

TMI Tuesday: June 12, 2018

Posted on June 11, 2018by TMI Tuesday blog

What do ice-cream and sex have in common? We discuss both this TMI Tuesday, that’s what.

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

Vanilla Berry Swirl; because I l always savor slipping my vanilla bean into a sweet juicy succulent bursting berry and swirling it over under sideways down and around and around until together we churn out something sweet.

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

My filthy super smooth super smutty super sexy boom boom boomski bedroom talk.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

Health issues.

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

Me knowing when not to use my filthy super smooth super smutty super sexy boom boom boomski bedroom talk.

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

They don't recognize what a googly eyed romantic I am because I tend to keep that to myself

Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

My clueless self looking back at me.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Highly Unlikely

JoJo was the unlikely, as well as the very likely tail end of Tails from Slammies. First impressions are quite often highly skewed and incorrect except for when they are not. For the type of woman you would never peg for a geezer groupie, baby girl resplendent in daddy issues, or grandmother; this tight bodied, tatted up, ageless energetic goofball beauty was a force of nature.


Through the long unfolding of Tails of Slammies, spanning the three sisters of legend: Cathy, Janine, and Peggy, through the incidental drive-by Sindy, JoJo was apropos punctuation.

Vegan Adventures

One minute I'm having a cold brew at Slammies.

Next thing I know I am in JoJo the bartenders bed.

She is stuffing the business end of a Cauliflower floret with an asparagus spear chaser up my rear.

I didn't know she was a vegan.

Just another early 21st century night.

TMI Tuesday: June 5, 2018

Posted on June 4, 2018by TMI Tuesday blog

Hi. How are you? Are you going to play TMI Tuesday?

What kind of person are you?

1. Are you addicted to any social media (twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc.)?

Addicted is too strong a word. I love being online, over sharing, cathartic smut tales, and all the beauty that is shared.  So I view it as a life enhancement. When I no longer feel that way I will sign off. Good night and good luck.

2. You know a secret about someone. What do you do with that information?
a. I keep it to yourself

I can dummy up with the best of them.

b. I tell my best friend
c. I wait until they hurt me and use it as ammunition
d. I tell everyone I can, I don’t mean to, I just cannot keep a secret

3. You see someone breaking the rules at work, what do you do?
a. Pretend not to see what is going on
b. Inform upper management
c. Advise the co-worker that their actions are frowned upon and can lead to job loss
d. Tell everyone else in the office what you saw

e. Totally depends on the rule that is broken. Some employers make rules for       the same reason a dog licks itself. Because they can.

4. A friend has a new hairstyle that is un-becoming, and not really age-appropriate on them. They ask you how they look. What is your reply?
a. You look just fine.
b. You look much better this way.
c. OMG, you look a bit ridiculous.
d. *Silence*

e. "What do you think?" After all unbecoming is a highly subjective opinion.

5. How helpful are you at home?
a. I come home and immediately veg out on the couch/bed.
b. I cook and clean a few times a week.
c. I am extremely helpful.

If I see it and it needs to be done I do it. Of course that too can be very subjective and a matter of opinion. Now just lay back. That sweet oyster's not going to eat itself.

d. I do what I am asked and nothing more.

Bonus: In your opinion, what is the best city in the world? Why?

French Lick. Because it is fun to say, request, and do.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Expectations

Whenever I feel others are not living up to my expectations,

I immediately review my expectations to see if they are still applicable.

Binaries

Either

You are dead

Or 

You are not dead

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brings to mind one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes: 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." 

Vivid Dreams

So I was prescribed Montelukast which has a reported side effect of vivid dreams. 

Lately I dreamt I was getting blow jobs from all the female cast members of SNL and last night that I was driving a NASCAR through a combo platter of animal research lab and football locker room. My job was to lock up when I was done and I was running late. Talk about pressure. 

Thanks Doc. 


Can't wait to sleep tonight. I wonder where I will go?

Voices

Sometimes I hear a familiar voice and I look up expectantly.

Only to see a young woman.

The realization sets in that the familiar voice was long ago.

While this woman's age is right.

Mine is all wrong.

Full Immersion

Life. The original full immersion V.R.

"Live it or live with it!' - F.S.T.

TMI Tuesday: April 18, 2017

TMI

1d ago

• bed
• blog
• celebrity
• dating
• erotic

Let’s do this–TMI Tuesday.

Sexual Revelations

1. When did you see your first naked women that was not a family member?

On her eighteenth birthday, because anytime before that she would not have qualified as a woman.

2. When did you see your first naked man that was not a family member?

On my eighteenth birthday, because anytime before that I would not have qualified as a man. ( Do I qualify as a family member? But anything before that would have been Freshman High School swimming class and I don not think I have overcome that jolt yet and there were no men in there. Just us lads, which was traumatic enough. )

3. What were the circumstances of each situation?

Stretched out on my bed and in a mirror in that order.

4. At what age did you first witness sexual nudity? Was it online or in print?

When I was nine years old I found a folded up paper on my Grammar School stairway landing which introduced me to the wonderful world of Playboy's Vargas Girl art. More than mere print, it was a gateway to enough unreasonable expectations to last a lifetime.

5. Sexual revolution–When was yours OR It hasn’t happened yet?

In my late twenties when I found out how horny some women in their thirties can be.

Bonus: What’s the best sex advice or sex education book you’ve ever read? (Yes, it must be a book, could be online but a book)

Kama Sutra. I really just read it for the articles. Honest.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tempest Slacker

Tempest Slacker was sleek. Her genes had clearly spent centuries traversing the four corners of the globe. Never mind the fact that a globe has no corners, her DNA had clearly kept all the best parts of her ancestors global meandering. While the eye of this beholder makes that highly judgmental and subjective observation the laws of symmetry always hold sway to visually processed stimuli. Or so I have heard. Perfection oozed from her pores. Shiny black hair that had never known the cruel blades of a shear made high heels a necessary accessory to keep her perfectly split free silky ends from sweeping the ground when the swishing sashay of her fully follicle obscured behind was in transit.

I alone among men knew the treasure that swayed behind that opaque curtain of hair, and was insanely jealous when ever she tossed her head to tease a peak to strangers left agog in her wake. But I digress. Or at least momentarily regress to my more base instincts until I again transcend myself to maintain my coveted title of human being.

But on this day and in this time it is a trifle trying. Tomorrow will be more so. For tomorrow is the day of days. The day when Tempest and I enter The Teapot Dome and tangle with the Gene Rippers one on one.